Bookworm Reviews

My Days at Rose Red - the Diary of Ellen Rimbauher

My sister, Yvette, turned me onto this book. It's a great "before sleep" read. Ever watch Steven King's movie "Rose Red?" Well, his movie is based on this diary, the last part of which was found within the walls of the Tower of Rose Red. It's a compilation of Ellen's diary entries that pertained to her introduction to Rose Red as her wedding gift from her new husband and continuing on from there. The question remains... did she eventually go insane from the venereal diseases her husband so kindly passed on to her (sarcasm here)? Or was the house truly possessed by Indian spirits that were disrupted by the monolithic structure being built over an old burial ground? Read the book and decide for yourself!

An Affair to Remember

This is Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy's love story... best described in their own words and in the words of those that knew them...

Kate...

Kate was described by Winston Churchill to be an elitist inside a rebel wrapped in an icon. Her complex, often self-contradictory personality was not an aberration, but a logical reflection of the other, equally complex personalities that preceded her through her parents. "Kate sprang" observed one friend "from the deep end of the gene pool." [Important sidenote: In her private life, Kate would never openly confront another woman over the affections of a man -- that would be unseemly.]

Spence...

Spencer, as the women in his life were to find out, dreaded making the hard choices in life. In Kate's own words... "Certainly the ideal man is Spencer: sports loving, a man's man. Strong-looking, a big sort of head, boar neck, a man."

Kate and Spence...

Kate was merely the latest in a long line of tough, morally courageous women who made sacrifices for the far weaker men they loved. But there was also no doubt that Spencer admired and respected and adored his "Kath" - he needed her and she needed him to need her.

In Kate's Words...

"I knew right away, that I found him irresistible. Just exactly that, irresistible... I found him totally, totally -- total."

"I loved Spencer Tracy. He and his interests and his demands came first.... It must be complete, or it ain't love."

"I tried to get around him, yet if he put a big paw out, he could squash me. I'm always skitting about ... and every once in a while he turns and growls, and I tremble."

"People are shocked that I gave up so much for a man. But you have to understand it gave me pleasure to make him happy. He made me live beyond my potential."

They both were extremely physical creatures, and this extended to their personal relationship. "It's a force of life, sex; you can't deny the thrill of riding high, wide, and handsome with someone you love," Kate later said about their affair.

In Spence's Words...

"We learned to be invisible in all the right places."

Joseph Mankiewicz

"Spence loved Kate and respected her, and for all his bluster it killed him when he disappointed her. But who was the stronger of the two? My God, was there ever any question? Hepburn. Hepburn..."

George Cukor

"He could be extremely gruff with her - that was the little roughneck boy from Milwaukee filtering through - but he had enormous respect for her, and he listened to her."

"There was something exceptionally sweet about it. Though they were extremely sophisticated people, he was like a little boy with her and she was like a little girl with him."

Stanley Kramer

"Her love kept him alive. No question about it."

After Kate and Spence...

Throughout their affair, and to the end... Kate quietly lived the shadowy existence of the Other Woman. Yet there was something noble in the subterfuge. "It was important for her to be Mrs. Tracy" Kate said of her rival, Louise. For her part, Louise (knowing that Spencer's sense of guilt over their son's deafness would always prevent him from divorcing her) did not stand in the way of his one chance at happiness with Kate. It was a classic triangle, but with a difference. All three were decent people trying their best not to hurt one another. As a result, all three got hurt.

May, 1967, Spencer Tracy died. He was an alcoholic and years of abusing his body caught up to him. Kate stepped aside to allow Louise to be the grieving widow. Although Spencer left his entire fortune to Louise, Kate still had his toothbrush in the stand where he left it, the books he loved were still stacked up on his desk and his carved Canada goose still swayed from the rafters of the cottage they shared. Whenever she wanted, Kate could sit in his red upholstered chair, or lovingly take one of his old flannel shirts out of the closet and put it on, or pad around in his wool socks.

Their love was undeniable... by everyone who knew them and most of all, by each other.

Wherever You Go, There You Are

This was a relatively easy read. The main theme in this book is 'mindfulness' - it encourages you to think in a way that enhances the thought that you will end up wherever it is that you go... so everything you say, do and think will effect where you go, and thusly where you are (something I like to call recognizing your "personal responsibility" in all situations). The author tries to lead you to a path of truth and awareness about who you are, what you're doing at any given time and how that effects others AND how it effects the situation you are in. It touches on the 'power of now' ... not in so many words, but it runs along the same stream in that it teaches awareness of the moment.

The book goes on to describe and explain different forms of meditation. Did you know that you could meditate while walking? Y'see, his idea of meditation is not "baaaaa-uuuuuhhhhmmmm", while sitting with your eyes closed, cross-legged in a quiet space as you nearly set fire to your room with an excessive use of candles and incense. He says that meditation should be simply clearing the mind to allow thoughts to arise without resistence, judgment or argument from the ego.

Have you ever tried to clear your mind and just wait for the next thought?... to stop the chatter that's so ongoing, find your quiet space (in your mind) and just allow thoughts to drop in and out without your mind quickly resisting them because they are painful, shameful, or just plain boring? Try it someday, you'll be surprised what is really on your mind when you stop chattering to yourself about picking up the groceries, stopping for gas, and wow! was that girl at work annoying/cute/smelly/funny (you fill in the blank)! Stop the chatter, listen to the silence and allow the images to come. You just might get to the root of your creativity, who you are, how you wish to express yourself, and much more!

This is a great book to read for someone looking for the quiet side of life, for someone like me who thinks too much!!

The Power of Now

Many will resist, right from the title of the book, the idea of living in the 'now', the 'present' ...but I'd suggest giving this book a read, if you are capable (some find it too 'deep'). This book does not by any means suggest that you live without knowing your past or that you stop planning your future, what it does propose is that you become fully present in the 'now' since it is truly where enlightenment and peace will be found. It will not be found next year when you pay off all your debts, or in three years when the kids are finally in school. Inner peace is found in this very moment by being fully and consciously present in the now...

It is suggested throughout the book that the ego facilitates resistence in all things, which resistence is responsible for the negative emotions that you feel through your life. By being truly here in the now... , you can dissolve depression, regret and despair by letting go of the past and you can dissolve anxiety, worry and stress by letting go of your expectations of the future. It is recognized in the book that there are certain life situations that will certainly make you feel sad or angry, but that you don't have to lose your inner peace by having these feelings. Inner peace comes with true acceptance of the moment.

But know this... it does not encourage people to stay in intolerable or unhappy situations by 'accepting the now' - the author is simply saying that your opportunities for peace, answers to your life situation and wisdom come to you with each passing moment. Every moment is an opportunity to change your life situation... if it is not what you want in your life. Every moment is an opportunity to find inner peace and true happiness. Once you find the 'you' buried underneath the ego, conflict with others and with yourself dissipates... "darkness cannot exist where there is light."

The author suggests that once you release the power that the past and future have over you and embrace and surrender to the power of "now", you are only then left with love and grace which have no opposites and which cannot be challenged once found.

Keep in mind, this is an entire book that talks about this subject so it is explained much more fully there than I can explain it here... my meager explanation just doesn't do it justice, but I think you can get the drift!

My way of thinking, my consciousness, has been fundamentally changed by this book and the ideas contained in it. I feel like I've just woken up to a new way of looking at my life situation [you see, your life situation is not your life... your life is something deeper and more constant]. After more than a decade of searching to find my own inner peace and happiness, this book was timely in that it finally put the last piece in place for me.... for NOW!